The Flood

It rained for no more than 15 minutes and half of Makati is already submerged in a filthy flood. now I can’t get my ass out to QC to attend a party, I can’t even cross the street to pick up my groceries.

unearthed photographs

		Memoirs of Stockland VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

the greatest thing about the digital media is that the images remain the same, not torn or discolored. I unearthed these photos from a pile of data discs I have been moving around from place to place. I find comfort that as old as these photos are, most of the people here are still in my life, in my mind and in my heart.

Bangkok

		3 days n nights in Bangkok VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

 

well, it has been over a year since the office had a little fun outside the country and the management is making no apologies for not giving us a little rest.

just sayin’

Version 3.0

It was only like yesterday when I was dreading turning 25, singing the 4 Non-Blondes’ “What’s Up” in my head like crazy, thinking it  was already my mid –life crisis, of course it was. At 25, you gotta know where you stand and where you’re headed, back then, I was a fleet hanging in the balance.

Five short years after, I’m not quite sure what I was wallowing about, sure as hell feels the same now. What I was pondering about and where it brought me is unclear, all I remember was that at 25, I gotta stop shuttling from one place to another. Where I landed, I can never be sure if it was my intended destination or just a stopover that afforded me dry land to walk upon as I continue to uncover and ignite my senses of the things I mean to, meant to and will do.

I’d like to think that being 25 was a turning point, a prelude to an upgrade, it has taken me a little while to admit it, but ME Version 3.0 does not feel so bad at after all.

Albeit the occasional rumblings over a gray strand appearing out of nowhere, 30 is the new 20. The irony of it all is only in the fact that people’s  perception of 30 when they were lads and lasses evoke too much expectation. Our generation admittedly took a backseat, taking in life slowly as it comes. We choose to live day to day, we are programmed to savor every inch of youth life, we do not live and take life like clockwork. Yet it’s not to say that we’ve not grown up and strive to be better creatures of the earth and better citizens of the world, we just breathe in  life as best as we can live it. That’s ME version 3.0, no fear, no worry.

too much of anything

so I’m a sneaker pimp, I took this a long time ago but forgot where I stored the image files. the collection has grown since with every anxiety attack I get, it’s not a crazy collection, I figured I just want one in every color to fit my mood and outfit.

I figured as a self-proclaimed writer, I ought to have writing instruments, in this case, I have lots of pens, souvenir pens, giveaway pens,pens that don’t write, pens that blot, resin pens,pencils made of chopped wood, character pencils, plains with fancy pencil toppers, novelties, lighter pens, pens from the 80s that I managed to keep. just some of the stuff that keep my shelf busy.

I also have a cassette tape collection which I plan to turn into a room divider since it’s obsolete and I can’t play it anymore. my cassette collection tells a lot of little stories throughout my high school and college life extending even to the beginnings of my work life.

fairly recently, I have built a graphic novel collection, something I see as the insurgence of my inner geek. I’ve also started reading novels, who would’ve thought. the catch is, I don’t get to finish them all cuz I read them not one at a time, but just whenever I feel like reading them, now the stories are all messed up in my head.

unbecoming me

I must have thrown myself up to sickness the past couple of days because my pet project is finally seeing the light. I inadvertently allowed myself to collapse and fall a little ill. this has been brewing for a while, mostly in my head, and yet I know I can’t let myself be unwell. my responsibilities at work has not only taken over my life, it has also consumed my body and my immunity. taking my time off work, spending 2 days tidying up my dwelling place amidst splitting headache and fever, not to mention a little rendezvous with the gang, I think I really ought to pursue my writing career that never really took off spite of my job subtitle as writer/copywriter.

right now, of all the things I wanna write, of all those I failed to start and all the words that never took shape, the clear indication is that the words I need to be typing begins with “ I hereby tender my resignation to pursue my inner passions”. surely, if I were a better writer, I wouldn’t have to do that and just keep on writing, but I am just flesh and blood with not much time or energy to spare for my personal pursuits. at a writing workshop some months back, the class was asked to introduce ourselves and say a brief word of why we’re there, what came out of my mouth is true to the essence; “I am writer and I came here looking for my mojo”.

over the years, I have lost parts of myself to everything I poke my head in. I have not drawn a picture or painted a scenery nor have I felt the texture of canvas upon my fingertips. I have not written a single piece that’s from inside my head and heart, and quite frankly, I’m not liking my writings lately (like in the past 5 years). I did better when it’s all about passion and not responsibility. I also think that somewhere along the way, the passion withered and I have no clue where to start picking it up from.

my new toy

my latest impulse is a netbook where I am writing this from using windows live writer. this thing is what’s been keeping me up until late for the past three days. I have been using a Mac for 5 years and reacquainting myself with windows is quite a feat. I still haven’t figured out how to change my desktop background up until now, yesterday, I spend a couple of hours installing office apps only to find out I already have one installed. oh well, just figured I wanna have a laptop of my own since getting my work mac and  selling my old laptop some years back. ciao for now

My Life in Ruins

Was is just yesterday when I sat here grasping at the last straw? I’d like to think it was many moons ago, when I was 23 and the world was but a playground. I was a net server with a inconvenient down time. When I flew too high and fell down hard, lying face down in the mud. That was how it felt as sat by the wooden walls of the ruins, it was me in ruins.

Here and now, a lot has changed yet I feel I’m at the crossroads of my life, nothing on hand but the same things I hold on to in times of trouble and grief—pen, paper and a pack of cigarettes. I chose to sit at the same space, this time the table is round as if to tell me, my life has turned. Living day to day and ditching the idea of living my life in a plan has paid off. As I look back now, I think I’m alright, but all around me and the people close to me, the world is crumbling, tearing them down and challenging their spirits. As I sip my coffee, I think about them, how they’ve kept hanging on, how they think and call on the people they know they can count on. And I think to myself, why do they think I’m one of them when all I can think of are selfish acts to draw myself away.

I have my own troubles, I’m at a point where I have to rethink about everything, I can not make the same mistakes that put me through rock bottom. I’m not 23 anymore and any room for mistakes I placed before is far gone. Through all the thoughts that cross my mind, the hardships I have to pull through, nobody seems to notice. Cuz it’s me who always have to there for them when their shit hits the fan and nothing I go through will ever be as hard as theirs. I guess that makes me lucky somehow. It just sucks to be the elder when you’re the youngest.

I’ve always been told to learn from others mistakes, it’s a life theory that works or seems to be working. So, that said, im out of town contemplating on my life outside their lives, drawing up plans like they never had.

At this moment, everything is looking great. I’m in my favorite city, enjoying the breeze and smiling at the sweet sound of rain as it hits the pavement. All the little things in this life that I love while in Ruins.

There must be a reason why I love this place so much. This is where my brother brought me to right at the aftermath of our dad’s tragic accident, where Rachel and Andre had their after wedding coffee, where I sat alone in the darkest moment of my life, where Lyn told me she’s having a baby. Life’s best and worst moments in my friends’ and mine’s lives happened here. The place alone is a tangible proof that great things come out of the ruins and hoping that the ruins that I am at this very moment will turn out as great.

Chronicling the Stanatics

–reposted from my other blog wikkidwizdumb.blogspot.com–

While it may be easy to see why men would want her, I at first found it a bit odd that Stana Katic’s fanbase who ship her shamelessly are women. Thinking aloud, I think I may have cracked the case. Sure, I noticed her as the sexy badass cop in Castle,whom with the unusual name lead me into googling her. And true fangirls know what happened next.

I believe I became a bonafide Stanatic when I saw the Paley interview with Chuck the Movie Guy where she was asked about how great it is to play a strong female lead. Her reply floored me, the woman is a wise crack with some spice! To those unfamiliar with it, she said ‘i cant imagine a woman being otherwise’ and that’s all it took to earn her another dedicated fan. That’s my story and i’m sure other fans has their turning points.

By then, it became clear that there is more to this woman than her heaps of adoring female followers can readily give out in a hit. Not to put her in the proverbial pedestal, but Stana could most probably be the model of a perfect woman.
we’ve been saying that for a long time yet we’ve not established the deep seeted reasons why she is so. At 5’9”, a svelte physique and a face that can have any man or woman’s jaw drop, she’s created to physical perfection. and if we must get into detail, she’s got an amazing bone structure,expressive big green beautiful eyes and a luscious pair of lips.

needless to say, she is extremely gorgeous. she’s smoking hot but definitely not bitchy. stana has a level of absolute desirability that’s almost geisha-like yet maintains a respectable stance. women in general have an innate desire to be desired and to be respected enough not to be taken advantage of.

Stana’s manner of speaking indicates a calm, gentle, sweet and caring lady which she balances with her knowledge and skill in martial arts and hobbies like archery and falconry. she can be ultra feminine that lends anyone near her to be willing to give her care and attention but is independent and tough enough by all means to take care of herself. after all,nobody would want to mess with a girl who can draw a smiley face around someone’s neck with a stilleto. yes, she’s bad ass in so many ways and that’s about as sexy as sexy can be. what woman wouldn’t want to be like that?

Her lips may be one perfect attribute, it becomes even more so when she opens it to speak, as it exhibits that behind the gorgeous face, on top of her well toned shoulders is a good head. as any fan would have stumbled upon, Stana graduated at the top 10 of a class of 700. While internet info leaves a bit of doubt, it is no doubt that she is in fact a brainiac as evident in interviews and interviewer raves. ladies, we have here,beauty and brains with long legs. again, what woman does not aspire to be significantly intelligent and saucy.

Stana is passionate about her craft and displays a great deal of energy in doing great in whatever she does. she has a constant need to challenge herself and explore different things to expand her abilities. women, though proven in many ways and means are not the weaker of the sexes have to keep moving on to prove the world wrong.
judging from her proficiency with languages and the way she eloquently pronounces every word or name she utters shows huge respect for cultures. she is well rounded and open minded. this aspect of her personality does her well in her display of professionalism. her ways may be intimidating yet she manages to be naturally adorable. there seems to be no one who can resist her charm layered with respect and adulation.
Stana exudes sexiness like we never thought possible. she even possesses a great sense of humor that sends people in stitches and leaves a vibrant smile on people’s faces, spite of quirkiness and occassional dorkiness, she is taken seriously coz that’s just how awesome she is.

she has a good heart and a perfect balance of wit, charm, talent, integrity and toughness easily putting her as a female hero among the female of the species.She is what any man would want to bring home to mama. everything about her, as Jordan Shaw says, is tailormade for a woman’s psychoses.
Stana inadvertantly started a feminist movement. she is by all means a very credible female hero that women everywhere would want to be like.

this is my account on the connection I formed with the personality that is Stana Katic. let me know your thoughts Stanatics.

PS; I wanna be Stana Katic!!!

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