5 years or so ago, I named an unborn baby girl Amber, a name not welcomed by her dad, my brother that when time came and she was born, they named her Regine Sophia, on a tear out sheet of a guest book I wrote “ they chose to name you otherwise, but you’ll always be Amber to me.” I just love the name so much, I couldn’t care if it was her name or not. She came out a month too early but gave her parents happiness if only for a while. Three short days and her epitaph read “ You are the sweetest memory our souls could ever keep.”
It was a devastating experience captured in my memory, how I and my sister Candy first laid our eyes on her at the St. Peters Chapel morgue; neverminding that all around us are cadavers of already cold and hard bodies of elderly people which could easily be cast on a horror movie. Hers was the tiniest coffin I have ever seen and I hoped to never have to see one ever again, whether or not the child swept off life is in my family or not.
Amber was laid to rest beside her lolo and lola, and back to the heavenly domain of God. After a year, my brother’s wife conceived another baby girl, now 5 years old.
Just a couple of weeks ago, my sister Candy delivered the news via SMS that Amber is on her way, not really knowing whether the new life inside her is gonna be a girl or another boy after Zachary. Just last night, at 7pm, Amber had gone away. Barely 10 weeks and now in a 5 ml cup of blood with the name Amber taped on its lid.
Goodbye Amber, yet again…maybe you were never meant to see this crazy world.
Derailed Thoughts 