Life Crisis

I’m in the middle of something or so i feel like i am. i am shaken by recent events leading to a meltdown of sorts and a full awakening from a dream that has long ceased. i can put myself out there, in crowded rooms, drowning in music and noise,  under a cloud of smoke, gulping alcohol, being whisked away and spending weekend nights groovin to chemical happiness in every dance floor i can square yet still–i cant shake it off my head. i just know i gotta be elsewhere. this seemingly light load is not doing me good either, gives me time to entertain evil thoughts and drifting away.